58 Days later....8 weeks and 1 day

The Great Burning of 2019 - it has become a saga, a story for the ages, that surely my children will share with their grandchildren. (Did anyone else just hear my father's voice say, "A little bit on the dramatic side there don't you think son?") The old saying goes the days drag on but the years fly by. Ok maybe not exactly like that but close enough and you know what I am trying to say, 

The inventory of the house is complete. Demolition and clean out of the house is going well. They have nearly the entire main level cleared out. They are projecting to be done with that phase by the end of next week, of course they said that last week about this week. Sigh....My main goal is to just see the rebuild start and take shape so our hope and energy and excitement can be focused on going back home. Brand new home that is clean and bright and fun to live in again. 

I have received my settlement letter from the insurance company regarding all my contents last night. I finally had time today to sit down and review the 112 (yes one hundred twelve) page document. I had to print it out, I cant read a document like that on a computer. I read and retain better if it is physically in my hand. Plus I can make notes as I read. Does anyone else feel this way, I am sure the millennials wouldn't agree! 

I was rather surprised at some things I discovered while reviewing the insurance document that included the itemization of all my belongings. You may or may not know that after the insurance had the inventory company list all the items out in a spread sheet, I then had to go through and assign dollar value and age of each line item. There 1,253 line items that I had to address, Some of these line items held multiples of one item (i.e. shirts, underwear, socks, bowls, pencils, etc.). After I submitted my list back to them then they did their number magic voodoo to the spreadsheet and voila a final settlement amount is determined. 

I am not going to deal with actual numbers but in percentages. My items depreciated to 40% of the amount I valued them to be. They reduced value of my items by 60%....what in the world!!!! I am grateful I had insurance. I am blessed that I have what I have. My insurance company has been phenomenal to work throughout the entire process, but WOWSA! Do I just buy crap and don't realize it?

So consider this:

1) For every pair of underwear you own they will only give you 25% of what you paid for it, Now mind you these were streak free drawers people. Nice and clean! 

2) For all those bottles of lotions and products that stack up in our bathrooms to address our vanity (er I mean vitality), ya they will only give ya 20% of their value. So is your vanity worth an 80% loss, If you didn't worry about your looks you could save a lot of money but lets keep the toothpaste and deodorants. 

3) For those parents out there you will love this one. All those toys that you have spent hundreds and thousands of dollars on over the years guess what they give ya for them? Say it out loud tell me what you think? (waiting for an anwer) NOPE you are wrong they will only give you 20% of a toy's value and that includes all those stupid stuffed animals that seem to multiply. If you know my daughter you know the problems I have with stuffed animals. The moral of this story is that next Christmas when you go to buy MORE toys THEY DO NOT NEED to put under the tree that the minute you walk out of the store those toys are now worth 20% of that hole in your wallet. It can still be in the box and in the shrink wrap and tied in to the box by all those stupid plastic twist ties and if it burns up you will only get 20% of the money you just spent back. Don't even take into account the number of hours those toys are ACTUALLY played with after New Years Day. 

One of the blessings/tragedies of The Burning is that over 100 stuffed animals succombed to smoke inhalation, we were able to rescue a few, most of them were buried with civilized honors at the city dump! This is a warning for all people everywhere - NO ONE GIVE MY CHILDREN A STUFFY OR ELSE! 

4) I will say this, the kids eletronics and video games and etc. fared a little better with more return on our investment at only 50% depreciation. Since we know where the kids spend the majority of their time it is nice to know it is money well spent. On a side note electronics have not been officially replaced yet and it is really ok with me. So we will see what happens....they have not missed them that much! 

5) For your mattresses and box springs and bed pillows it is minimal depreciation of just 20%. Which I found amazing. Just remember a good nights sleep is better not only for your health but for your wallet. So go ahead and spend a little more on that new mattress. I will say when I went shopping for a new mattress a few weeks ago I was flabbergasted at the actual costs and all the options and varieties there are to choose from. 

On a related note you only get 25% back on all your sheets, blankets, pillow cases, bathroom towels and etc. This includes those cute little fluffy and furry blankets you buy at Home Goods or Target. Only 25% off, so when you have a fire, grab the furry blanket on the way out! 

Oh and for those of you who are lovers of all those cute decorator pillows for the bed and the couches and the chairs and out on the patio...STOP IT! Not worth your money, after the fire you will only get 20% back. Why do you think Pier One has so many walls and shelves of pillows, because they are so cheap to make and yet they sell them for outrageous prices that you will never get back. Come on, we can't even sell them at next summer's garage sale for everyone is afraid of bedbugs! NO I DON"T HAVE BEDBUGS! 

6) Next comes my favorite topic the WARDROBE - if you know me at all you know historically I have been a clothes horse and I rarely ever got rid of clothes. Well that has changed in recent years as I was able to prune my entire fashion ensemble into one closet. It was so freeing. And since I lost every piece of clothing  from that one closet in the fire I get to start over again! Woo Hoo.... but there is always a BUT! I only got 25% back on my wardrobe...it was very dissatisfying. They have no idea how many hours, days, weeks and months I spent curating my wardrobe to the colossal fabulousness it had become. To top it off you only get 20%  back on all your shoes! It is a tragedy to say the least. I will say the percentage was a little more for higher brand name pieces from like Nike, Tommy, Bass, Disney and the like if the tags were easily identified when inventoried. That should make you feel a little better the next time you hit the outlet mall. 

I share all these thoughts with you to say this. If you don't have insurance on the contents of the home you own or rent - please get it right away. I can't imagine not having anything to fall back on after the fire. We have been so blessed as a result of it. 

When you do get insurance, determine an amount of coverage you think would work for you. Maybe it is 50k or a 100k or whatever number you came up with and then DOUBLE IT! That was my mistake I didn't double it. I would have gotten a bigger settlement had I had more coverage. Do not undervalue your possessions. What they failed to tell me was that the salvage costs, cleaning costs and other ancillary costs come out of your contents total and that total came up to about $7,000. At least mine did. Read your policies carefully and know what is going on. They don't exactly explain all that in the beginning of the process or if they did, I was still too much shock to hear them. 

On a final note, if you house ever catches on fire (and I pray it does not) let it burn to the ground. Do not call the fire department until you know that baby is just going to be all ashes. I truly believe our recovery process would have gone much quicker and faster and there is likely no actual inventory you have to sort through painfully for 112 pages multiple times. Remember it is just stuff. You don't need it. Can't take it with you. So for those of my readers whom I know will read this I will say to Brenda, Sandy, Tausha and Sonia... LET IT GO! Purge now and free yourselves! 

Until next time peeps! 

Saturday Sun....

Waking up early on this day, a cloudy dreary Saturday morning I was instantly scrambling for things to do with my kids today in the event the rain lasted all day. As many of my FB followers have taken note of our weekend days are usually spent at one of our local pools during the summer months. The weather cleared up a bit and I finally called the pool about 11:45 am and they confirmed they were open for business come 12 noon.

The kids went into high gear and were swim ready in about 8 minutes. This is one of the few things that gets my kids motivated, going to the pool. Any pool at any time on any day of the year. They are clearly water babies and I love seeing them in the water. The pool had been open about 15 minutes by the time we got there and we were the first ones there. There were 7 life guards at their posts around the pool just for my kids and I. Talking about feeling safe. The sun was starting to shine and the clouds were moving out of the area as the kids jumped into the cold water. Within a matter of moments they were sliding, swimming, and diving through the clear water.

I take no greater joy than enjoying my children in their element and clearly the element of water is one that resonates deeply with my kids. The energy of the water and the warmth of the sun and winds of the air make for a perfect day in the pool. It is amazing to me how they can talk to any body and just strike up a conversation with whoever they encounter. I always here I made a new friend today dad. Then I ask that question I always ask...."What is their name!" They always look at me like I have 3 heads like who cares we played and had fun and we became friends and then they answer me and say, "I don't remember!" Which is their way of saying it never came up. Their concept of friendship is a beautiful thing. The name doesn't matter but the shared experience is what makes a friend. Maybe if we adults were more concerned about the shared experience rather than the other person's name age and occupation we would have more friends! Something for my mind to ponder on further.

They clearly enjoy the concession stand almost as much as the water itself. One had two pretzels, ice cream sandwich, a small drink and a pack of apples and caramel and a bag of skittles. Another had nachos (no cheese), ice cream cone and apples and caramel and small drink (which I drank) and a bag of M&Ms. The other child said she wasn't hungry and only had a drink and a bosco stick! Every week we go through the litany of menu options available like they do not know it by heart by now, Lord knows I do! Needless to say some 22 dollars later and they were still hungry. Geesh they are bottomless pits especially when at the pool.

Looking at my kids in their natural environment around the water and their true love of life comes forth. Truly the joy they emanate is like the effervescent bubbles from your favorite carbonated drink. Almost intoxicating. That emotion they bring only makes them more beautiful and handsome than they already are! Who says being happy doesn't make you look better!

After 4 and a half hours at the pool we are walking out feeling alive and sun-kissed they want to know if we are coming back tomorrow! I tell them it is still the weekend isn't it! Then I get the, "I love you dad" and "You are the best" comments that make my heart sing. I will take those moments they love me and aren't afraid to show it because I am sure within an hour someone will hate me for something else.

Life finally felt normal today, 26 days since The Burning, and it almost felt normal. It was a good day!

21 Days Later - The Burning

So here we are 3 weeks later....

Now that the madness has subsided some I think the reality of the fire has truly set in for us all. I am now situated in an apartment with Courtney, my oldest. While AJ, Lyric and Alexis are all living with Julie in a house a couple of miles away. It has been nearly 2 years now since we all started living under one roof again. This unique family arrangement is once again being tested. While I worry about the kids the most, it creates unique challenges for us parents. Now when I have my assigned time with the kids I have to stay in the house with them and Julie vacates during that time. During the week I stay until bedtime and get them all settled and then I return to my apartment and Julie manages the overnights and mornings. Then in the morning Julie drops at least on, two or three of them off at my apartment for me to deliver them to their daily activities. Obviously this is less than ideal arrangement, but I have come to realized many two household families have schedules and routines that are similar and less than convenient. Maybe we are not so unique after all.

The emotional toll it has taken on us all finally started becoming more evident. Our emotions are frayed and we tend to be short tempered with each other, parent and kids alike. I can honestly say that I don't think the fire ever completely totally leaves my mind. It is always floating around somewhere in the background, especially as we continue to manage details of the clean out and clean up on a nearly daily basis. I get annoyed anytime some issue or detail stops or delays progress on the house. In my mind, I keep playing with this six month time line and we tell the kids we are hoping to be home by Christmas. Yet at the same time I see the chaos and devastation and think to myself really???? Is it a false expectation to have that hope. Are we going to be disappointed. Will we not be home for Christmas? I know maybe being home for Christmas is not a big deal, but it would definitely add to the feeling and sentiment that Christmas brings.

My youngest son, AJ, age 7 is struggling and experiencing his sadness through a lot of anger. Little things are setting him off and he is just not his normal self. He is broody and sullen and the timing coincides with the fire and the end of school. Two major events that have broken his routine and schedule. Two hotels and one temporary home later and we are hoping the consistency that we are now employing three weeks later will help his sadness and anger ease. I am sad that this has had such a profound impact on him, he is even resisting affection and cuddling from us and that really makes me sad. Good news he is now sleeping his own bed full time which is something we have prayed for several years. Woohoo

Alexis has had nightmares since the first night, but they have finally started to ease as we have gotten more settled.  Lyric seems a bit more argumentative than usual and is having a hard time accepting the fact that she can not have her new room right now. She has this grand design for the room of her dreams involving red, pink, purple and brown! That color scheme has not been approved by management as of yet.

One apartment and one house later and we trying to find our new normal. I just hope we find it before we have to relocate back to the house when it is complete. That we can plan for and prepare, this one left no room for preparation or planning and was totally on the fly and put the parents in a tail spin for a week or two.

I did order a new mattress from Amazon and a bed frame to go with it. The mattress came in today and it was all rolled up. It was crazy and has to lay flat for 24 hours before use. It is crazy, but I have heard nothing but positive reports. Courtney will be sleeping on it for now and we will see what comments he has to offer.

As I have learned 21 days is enough time for a lot to happen! It is a bit surreal but I can still see the huge billows of smoke pouring out of the house that evening! It clearly an image etched into my mind for the rest of my life! Looking forward to some new good memories to be etched into my mind!

16 days later....The Burning

It has been two weeks and two days since The Burning! In many ways it already feels like it was a lifetime ago, In reality never does a day go by when I am not reminded multiple times that it was just 16 days ago. I am experiencing a level of "tired" like I have never known before. My body hurts and aches and I am tired all the time!

During this time we have assessed the damage on several different layers, found new temporary housing, reestablished morning routes and routines for everyone, set up a new parenting schedule, been to the fire house every day for one reason or another and stayed on top of vendors and contract workers who are working in the house. I have also had an 8th grade graduation, a 5th grade promotion, baseballs practices and medical appointments. I have sent my dog away to live with my parents until the house is habitable again. Moving into a small apartment tomorrow and I have never lived in a traditional apartment such as this!

Through it all I am constantly reminded how much worst it could have all been or still be if things had just been the least bit different. No one was hurt or killed, the house was not a total loss, a chance to start anew, getting some bonding time with my kids. Many of you have provided blessings in many different ways and I cannot even to thank you enough for what you did for my family during a difficult time. I have learned some things about myself and about others that I am close to.

I went to the fire house this morning and watched as they carted out all the furnishings that THEY deemed were salvageable. All those pieces of furniture that had all sorts of stuff in them were emptied and the piece then removed from the house. Needless to say the house looks worst now then it did before. Stuff piled everywhere and it is just depressing like a bad episode of Hoarders! Not pretty!

The next step will be for the remaining "Stuff" to be emptied out of the house and tossed and disposed of as they were too damaged from water and smoke. That cannot be done until the inventory people finish the job of itemizing every item we own and then we get to go through each line item and report the age, the costs to purchase and where it was purchased. I am so dreading that part. I honestly don't know where I bought the pair of red and blue socks. I know they have been in the drawer several years and how much I paid for them. How the heck do I know! Sigh...

It is clear that this entry is somewhat of a bummer but it is real! Someone asked me yesterday how I was doing and I responded by saying, "I don't know how I am right now!"

Honestly I really just want to go home! Yet I have made up my mind that 6 months will be worth the wait.

4 In The Morning

It has been 11 days since The Burning! Time seems to pass with the blink of an eye. The limbo and the uncertainty of it all can be exhausting. Some have called me a "Control Freak" and I would agree with that. As I have gotten older I have become more adept at letting go! Though situations such as those I currently find myself in are definitely taxing my ability to not take control. I have learned that advocating for a better room, or more efficient service and not always taking no as an answer is not necessarily control issues, but advocating for the best for my loved ones or even for myself.

Since The Burning, 4:30 am and I have become good friends. Every morning since that night I have woken up anytime between 4 and 4:30 am. No one has woken me up. No big noises or anything has disturbed me. I just wake up and lie there and toss and turn for awhile in what can be described as a vain attempt to return to my slumber. Still it evades me as I usually end up relenting to be awake at that time of the morning.

It is during those wee morning hours that my need for control races through my mind as my mind makes plans and strategies for the day ahead and how to get done what needs to be done. Yet as we know I plan and God laughs! There has even been less predictability than ever in these recent days. Insurance company calls and says this. The restoration company calls and says they want that. The inventory company calls and reports this. After I take one of the calls I find myself frustrated as this process is taking too long and usually disrupts what little control I thought I had for the day.

Six months is the number in my head that I am thinking in terms of moving back into the house with the rest of the family. Which puts us right before Christmas the Good Lord willing. It would make a nice Christmas present to be home again. Yes home is where the heart is and blah blah blah...leave those sentiments for the Hallmark Channel. I just want to go home and so do my kids. You can count on me to advocate and encourage and motivate all the necessary players involved to get it done.

During those early morning hours I might pray, or read, or just lay there and think about this or that. I am finding myself missing my dog. Duncan is living with my parents until we get to move home again. I love that dog! I miss him snuggled up against my feet at the end of my bed each morning. He is so dang cute and I want him to come home. I am afraid my mom is going to make him fat. She gives him too many treats and doesn't walk him enough. LOL

It is not as dark as you would expect it to be at 4:30 am. Especially when you are living in a hotel! The lights in the parking lot or the neon hotel sign high above or even just the moon provides a lot of light through the window, though my daughter Alexis would disagree. She does not like sleeping in a room with no lights on. Which totally cramps my style as I can't hardly sleep with a light on. So sometimes at 4:30 am I turn off the light since she is asleep! HA take that kid!

I cannot even turn a TV on at 4:30 am as there is usually a kid asleep somewhere close by and by golly we don't want to wake them up! Instead of television I resort to reading on my phone or scrolling through Facebook or playing stupid games.

4:30 am is not my friend and I look forward to the day when I can have a room of my own again. Maybe that will help me sleep past 4:30 am. I don't like 4:30 am! Did you get that yet? If you are awake at 4:30 tomorrow morning feel free to text me....I may or may not respond!

Hotel Life is for the birds...

I am not ashamed to admit that my mind is a treasure trove of useless trivia about many things related to television shows and television stars. I am also not afraid to admit I grew up a child of the 80's and was a latch key kid who came home after school and headed for the television until dinner time.I couldn't miss the after school special!!!  I say all that to say that I frequently read stupid articles about television stars and their lives on Facebook and other online sources. Many times I have read that this star or that one has taken residence in a fancy schmancy hotel or maybe that was more of a thing they did in the 60s and 70s, but anyway you know what I mean. I think now we would call them concierge apartments in the big cities.

Well life in a Jefferson City hotel is a far stretch from New York or Los Angeles. We spent the first few days in a hotel across town from our neighborhood and away from all the things we do. The hotel was adequate at best and at the risk of sounding like a snob it wasn't our typical hotel standard. It just had a weird feel to it and just didn't feel comfortable. Plus our three rooms were scattered across two floors which was so unhandy for the kids who liked to go back and forth frequently. So after four nights there we were able to move to a nicer hotel across town in our neighborhood.

Originally we were scheduled to be moved to a different hotel, but it was hit by the tornado and we had to scramble and get a new reservation somewhere else before the whole town was full. The insurance company got us booked into the new Holiday Inn and Suites and it is a lovely hotel and has only been open a few short months. A great indoor pool and work out facility. There is a restaurant on site if we get hungry.

While we are blessed to be in a safe, clean and comfortable place for the time being, hotel life has it's challenges. If you have met my children, you know they are not the quietest of children. They are easily excited and frequently loud. Who am I kidding they are always LOUD, we are just a loud family. I can't help it and we are not even Italian. We are always aware of how loud the kids are and our new favorite word is SSSSSSHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh.... you would think that would be easy to catch on to, but NO, not our kids! They can't even walk down the hall quietly.

Oh and why do these hotel doors have to be so noisy and heavy. So it sounds like they are slamming every time they close. I am deaf and can hear doors closing down the hall with my door closed. So when it is my door or Julie's door it seems to be 100 times louder. Which is frequently especially in the morning hours as we are getting everyone ready to go and out the door by a little after 7 am.

There is no such thing as privacy in a hotel room full of children. Julie has a room and I have a room and the kids go back and forth as they are next to each other. I don't think they make hotels with adjoining rooms anymore....why not for those of us with larger families...that makes no sense to me. Every time I turn around there is a child. There is no where for them to go. No where for me to go, except to hide in the bathroom and all you parents know what that means. They eventually follow you. There are good locks on these bathroom doors.

Elevators are a great novelty for my children. AJ is always running down the hall ahead of trying to get to the elevator and push the call button. He has made the elevators beep and ring and do all kinds of funny noises in the few days we have been here. Let's just hope he doesn't figure out the emergency stop button. For some reason they put us at the opposite of end of hallway from the elevators. It is quite a hike. So we get to the elevator and AJ is the call button pusher. He would make a good elevator attendant...do they still have those anywhere? He loves talking to people in the elevators and he is always seen as charming, darling and so well spoken and thoughtful. Why can't he be that way with his family. I am grateful he is is that way to strangers. Luckily the elevator ride is about 30 seconds or I am sure he would tell everyone he met in the elevator the story of how I said a curse word and yelled fire and told them to evacuate.

Why do hotel beds have to be so fun and set in such a way in the room that they are the perfect distance from one another that the kids think it is a good idea to jump from bed to bed and pretend there is lava on the ground between the beds. Come on out there, how many of you did that at some point in your life? It can be fun!

I do like having fresh towels everyday and fresh sheets every couple of days. Everything is clean and nice. It helps motivate me to keep the room neat and organized which is my natural way anyway. That and the fact we don't have that much anyway. The kids have one plastic tote box of stuff that have been given to them so far. We are specifically telling folks we don't have room for stuff right now just for that reason.

The dresser and closet is nice and I have unpacked completely my one weeks worth of clothing and that of the kids as well. If we are going to be here indefinitely we might as well be comfortable and make ourselves at home.

One downside is we almost have to go to bed when the kids do. And I can't watch tv after they go to bed. I know, I know, poor me but I have cable here and all my favorite channels and I don't get much chance to enjoy them. Hey we have free wifi and that is a great perk.

Another challenge is that we don't have a kitchen and have to do all of our meals outside of the hotel unless we order delivery or carry it in. Which gets expensive and tiring after awhile. Every afternoon we have this discussion of where to go to eat dinner. Thanks to many good friends we have lots of gift certificates which provides us many options, but still it is not the same as being at home and eating the foods we enjoy. It will get old quickly.

Grateful we have a place to rest our weary heads at the end of each day, but the kids have no where to play outside and at home we let them go for hours and they are happy happy happy. Here we have a highway outside of our hotel. No where safe for them to go without our supervision. We miss our home, our yard and our neighborhood! Already longing for the day we can return home.

So if anyone in the Jeff City area knows of any rental properties that we should check into let me know. Hotel life is for birds....and frankly the birds can have it!

Can you remember...

Since The Burning my mind and emotions have been taxed on many levels....one of the things I have become most aware is knowing what is in my surroundings.

When I yelled that curse word and told the kids to evacuate I only had what was in my hands at the time as I was leaving the house. I dashed into the kitchen and grabbed my phone and keys which just happened to be sitting within reach - which is amazing since I have a tendency to misplace my keys. The basket with the kids daily medicines was also there and I grabbed those but that was it. Grateful that I remembered to snatch those few things, I thought later about all the things I should have snatched!

The next morning it really hit home when Julie went to take Alexis to school. As they were walking out the door and Julie reminded Alexis to get her shoes on and Alexis timidly replies, "Mommy I didn't have any shoes on when we evacuated the house!" Wow how did neither one of us notice that in the midst of all that was going on the night before. So on the way to school at 7:30 am on the way to school the morning after the fire Julie and Alexis went shoe shopping at Walmart.

Now mind you, I was at Walmart before them that morning about 1 am looking for clothes for me to wear. I had absolutely nothing to wear after the fire. Julie and the kids had some laundry at her mom's that they were able to utilize, but alas I had nothing to wear. So I had to go get some basics to get through the next day or two and I was so awake and wired I figured I might as well go to Walmart at 12:30 am. You learn a lot about people when at Walmart at 1 am. I will write about my middle of the night experience at Walmart in a future blog.

Both of the girls happened to have their favorite doll or stuffed animal in their hands when the fire broke out, which is kind of unusual for 5:45 in the evening. So that is something I am grateful for. AJ is not specifically attached to items so he was not overly affected, but he is more attached to his surroundings and routines. Which is a bit difficult to manage in hotel living. More on that in a future blog as well.

Back to the original point of this entry. Do me a favor:

CLOSE YOUR EYES

TAKE A DEEP BREATH

no really do it

THEN WITH OUT OPENING YOUR EYES NAME 10 THINGS THAT ARE IN THE ROOM AROUND YOU.

Can you do it? Was it easier or harder than you thought? Now look around and note the things you missed and consider what would you do if all the things you did not mention in your list of 10 items was gone when you opened your eyes? Do those 10 things make sense to remember now that you don't have it all together with the things you didn't remember. Then with the 10 things that you mentioned how many of those things require electricity? Oh but wait your electricity does not work any more, so how many things of those 10 items are no longer useful. How many items do you have left? One, two or three?

This is the exercise that my family has gone through in the recent days. Learning to live without! It is a humbling and challenging experience. It has been especially useful for my children, who in this culture are so materially driven, and I think we are more on the conservative end of a lot of folks when it comes to what we allow our kids to have and keep and frankly it is still way too much.

Walmart and Walgreens and Target have been clocking our frequent flyer miles as the first few days we were remembering this or that thing was needed. Whether it be an item of clothing, a toiletry item, a pair of finger nail clippers, a blanket for your child to take to school for movie time, a brush to brush their hair, shampoo that does not come out of a little bottle in the hotel. So many little things we take for granted each day in our lives. We had to have some basic swim toys for the pool this past Saturday - you know you cannot go swimming without your goggles! LOL

Many of you know I am a clothes horse! I have always been a clothes hog and like my clothes and enjoy shopping and fashion and etc. What can I say it is who I am. You know the FANTABULOUS BROCK is always styling - or at least I like to tell myself that. Since the divorce I have cut my wardrobe by at least half. I was finally able a couple of weeks ago able to get all my hanging clothes into one smaller than average closet. In the past I would have two or three closets full of stuff. Now all my clothes fit in one drawer of my hotel room. And that is enough clothes for a week! Isn't that enough? Shouldn't it be enough? If someone told you today that you had to fit all your clothes in an average sized suitcase and that was all you were allowed to have for the next year, how would that affect you? Could you do it? Would it be hard or easy?

I am a very organized person, ask my former wife or my boss and they will tell you I am the organization king. That being said it has been easy for me to put my fingers on important papers and documents that I needed to salvage after The Burning. A few months ago, Julie's best friend was able to help Julie do the same thing and she too has been able to find her necessary papers. Do you know where your birth certificates are, your passports, wills, divorce decrees, marriage licenses and etc. If I walked into your home right now and asked for these things could you put your hands on them in 5 minutes or less? Or would you have to think about which pile they might be downstairs by the tv or in your den next to the file cabinet you never use? Maybe the bottom drawer of your night stand by your bed. Oh right, you were gonna get to that? But guess what you never did and now you are up the proverbial creek.

These words are not to scare you but rather challenge you to think ahead and be prepared. I never thought this would happen to me. I never thought I that my organization skills would come in handy like they have in the past week.

Finally my sage words of wisdom for today is think about what is necessary. Think about what is needed? Think about what is holding you down? Do you really need everything in the room around you? Do you really need 14 plastic water bottles from various places in your cabinet that half the lids are warped or lost? These are things I think about now. I challenge you to think about the same!!

The Burning

I had not realized how long it has been since I have posted a blog entry until I logged in this morning. I guess life changing events is what challenges me to write and share. Well alas another major life changing event has occurred.

May 20th (just 7 days ago) I awoke to another normal day in the life. Work, school, counting the days until the pool opens and juggling three active kids at home and tracking 2 older kids out there somewhere. So really a regular day. Early that evening I was in the upstairs cooking dinner for the kiddos when I noticed a smell. I just thought something had spilled in the oven or on the stove top and didn't think much about it at first. The smell persisted and I had a thought as I walked over to the basement door and opened it. Poof a huge ball of rolling black smoke immediately enveloped me. I can still vividly see it coming towards me like a locomotive.

According to my kids the first words out of my mouth were. "Oh shit, fire, everyone out!" AJ still yells at me when he retells that story to others and scolds me for cursing. I remind him that there is a time and place for everything. The kids looked at me with a strange look of confusion in their eyes and actually left the house as directed. Alexis was able to grab Duncan our beloved. Scottish Terrier. We all quickly regrouped in the driveway as I called 911. While talking to the emergency operator I glance up and notice AJ at the front door trying to go in as the dark smoke billowed out. I ran and caught him as he crossed the threshold and dragged him back. He was yelling he had to save the family cat, "Lovey." I quickly explained that it is too dangerous to go back in and that the firemen would save him once they got here. I placed the kids and dog in my car still in the driveway and backed the car further away from the house. I called Julie who was at her mother's house just a couple of miles away and told her to get home the house was on fire. About this time I could hear the sirens in the distance as the dark smoke seemed to emanate from every  window,door and crack in the shell of our home. It even seemed to be escaping through the shingles of the roof. Neighbors peaking through their curtains and standing on their porches. One neighbor asked if help had been called. Standing next to the car trying to keep my crying children calm the big red trucks started arriving. First one, then two and three, four and five and an ambulance.  he firemen went into action quickly. They lifted the ladder and unrolled the hoses and connected to a fire hydrant a few houses down. The kids started yelling at the firemen to save their cat but no one could hear them. It took me a couple of moments to get someone's attention to tell them about the cat. I already knew in my heart the cat was probably not going to make it, but kept encouraging the kids to have faith she would be alright. What else was I going to tell them at this point? When the fire erupted the cat ran in fear to one of her many hiding spots further back in the house so I knew I would take a lot time for her to be found. The question being found dead or alive.

It was less than 10 minutes before Julie arrived. The street had been blocked on both ends so she had to walk a bit to get to the house which was still a smoky inferno. I quickly updated her as she took in the site of her home in the process of being devastated. It was an emotional rush for her and quickly she became overcome by emotion, especially when her mom arrived and she ran to her for comfort. I quickly ushered the kids out of the car to their grandmas car further from the house. I knew they didn't  need to see anymore than they already had. Grandma Louise quickly escorted the kids away from the house and took them to her home.

The next couple of hours were a blur as  several official fire administration officials arrived. Many wonderful friends came to be with us as we waited for more news from the fire department as they contained the fire and started investigating. After about an hour they informed us the cat had not survived as she took in too much smoke. Immediately I dreaded the conversation that would need to be had with the kids before the night was over. One of the fire officials came and started asking us questions as to what happened and about various issues and details of the house and how it was set up and who lived there and where their respective bedrooms were and so forth. As Julie and I talked we started wondering and how it all started. Initially we thought it had to do with the equipment that was left in the basement from a restoration company who was cleaning up a flood in the basement earlier that day. In fact, they had left the house about 30 minutes prior to when I noticed the fire. In time we were in fact told a different cause altogether.

The fire originated in the bedroom of our oldest son and was deemed an accidental electric fire. Let me just say this. NO MORE EXTENSION CORDS! Between overloading a power strip and using old substandard extension cords which created a formula for disaster. Our oldest son had just returned from his year away at college two days prior. Needless to say he lost everything he owned. His clothes, shoes, hats, computers, gaming systems, games and much much more was packed in that room. It immediately shook him up and he went into fight or flight mode. After he spoke to the fire officials at the scene we didn't actually see him for nearly 48 hours and rarely heard from him. It was with much prayer and reassurance to him that finally gave him the freedom and safety to return to the family. He is doing much better now and is at the hotel with us and looking forward to what comes next in his life.

We were able to take a quick tour of the house after the fire was extinguished and it was deemed safe. To say it was shocking is an understatement. The amount of smoke damage throughout the entire home was overwhelming. The lower level where our oldest son and oldest daughter and I all had our bedrooms and other living spaces was a black dark hole. Furnishings melted, glass on the floor, water soaked picture frames on the wall, blackened out faces on those same pictures. Going into the room where it all started was like a burnt out black hole. Things were melted and broken and purely disintegrated. Once we left the house and the fire department turned it back over to us we locked the doors and walked away still somewhat in shock.

The first night we stayed at Julie's mom's house so we could all be together for the sake of the kids. The two younger children were devastated when they heard the news about the cat. It took us a long time to console them and get them quieted again. Luckily Julie had taken some laundry to her mom's house and each of the kids had some clothes there they could wear, including pajamas. No one slept well that night. Kids were restless, jumping from bed to bed to find comfort and morning came all too early. We got up with the plan to keep kids on their schedules and getting them all to school in a timely manner and that mission was accomplished. We know that our children thrive on consistency and routine so with only 2 days of school left we marched on.

It was really a blessing the kids were in school as it gave us two days to deal with all the insurance issues, phone calls, and tons of decisions that needed to be made. Had the kids been around that would have been much harder than it was. So we were thankful for that.

Frankly from the beginning of it all I specifically chose GRATITUDE. Grateful that we were all alive. Grateful that it was not worst. Grateful that it did not affect any neighbors. Grateful for the fire department personnel and first responders who were on the scene. Grateful for the funny Red Cross volunteer who came with care packages and hotel and food vouchers so we could begin the process of rebuilding. Grateful that the kids were not more emotionally/spiritually impacted than they were by the fire. Grateful that Julie has good home owners insurance and that I had good renters insurance. So many things came to mind in the first day or two of things to be grateful for as we went through the process.

Sitting here and reflecting back on the night of the fire and how I stood there watching the burning it was almost surreal. Was that really me? Did my kids and I just evacuate our home that was on fire? Really???? I remember as a kid the television show The Waltons and the episode where the family home was burned. That episode left a mark in my mind and I never forgot it. Now here I am 50 years old having watched my home burn just as the Walton's did all those years ago. I don't remember feeling fear as the home was engulfed in smoke, rather I just wanted my kids to be safe. Yet something else in which to be grateful.

A week later now and I am amazed at the amount of love and support we have received from people some being family and close friends and other being people we haven't seen in decades and in some cases do not even know. Grateful that they were there to help us along the way. Being purely honest, I also realized who were true friends.

The Burning as I will forever call May 20, 2019 is an opportunity to start fresh. A chance to rethink the choices I have made in the past regarding materialism and giving to others. A way to rethink and live the next 50 years better than I have the first 50 years. The Burning will teach me many things in the days, weeks, months ahead as we restore and rebuild a place The Ballard Bunch calls home!

P.S. Stay tuned for additional blog entries as I share the journey that started from The Burning!