It has been 11 days since The Burning! Time seems to pass with the blink of an eye. The limbo and the uncertainty of it all can be exhausting. Some have called me a "Control Freak" and I would agree with that. As I have gotten older I have become more adept at letting go! Though situations such as those I currently find myself in are definitely taxing my ability to not take control. I have learned that advocating for a better room, or more efficient service and not always taking no as an answer is not necessarily control issues, but advocating for the best for my loved ones or even for myself.
Since The Burning, 4:30 am and I have become good friends. Every morning since that night I have woken up anytime between 4 and 4:30 am. No one has woken me up. No big noises or anything has disturbed me. I just wake up and lie there and toss and turn for awhile in what can be described as a vain attempt to return to my slumber. Still it evades me as I usually end up relenting to be awake at that time of the morning.
It is during those wee morning hours that my need for control races through my mind as my mind makes plans and strategies for the day ahead and how to get done what needs to be done. Yet as we know I plan and God laughs! There has even been less predictability than ever in these recent days. Insurance company calls and says this. The restoration company calls and says they want that. The inventory company calls and reports this. After I take one of the calls I find myself frustrated as this process is taking too long and usually disrupts what little control I thought I had for the day.
Six months is the number in my head that I am thinking in terms of moving back into the house with the rest of the family. Which puts us right before Christmas the Good Lord willing. It would make a nice Christmas present to be home again. Yes home is where the heart is and blah blah blah...leave those sentiments for the Hallmark Channel. I just want to go home and so do my kids. You can count on me to advocate and encourage and motivate all the necessary players involved to get it done.
During those early morning hours I might pray, or read, or just lay there and think about this or that. I am finding myself missing my dog. Duncan is living with my parents until we get to move home again. I love that dog! I miss him snuggled up against my feet at the end of my bed each morning. He is so dang cute and I want him to come home. I am afraid my mom is going to make him fat. She gives him too many treats and doesn't walk him enough. LOL
It is not as dark as you would expect it to be at 4:30 am. Especially when you are living in a hotel! The lights in the parking lot or the neon hotel sign high above or even just the moon provides a lot of light through the window, though my daughter Alexis would disagree. She does not like sleeping in a room with no lights on. Which totally cramps my style as I can't hardly sleep with a light on. So sometimes at 4:30 am I turn off the light since she is asleep! HA take that kid!
I cannot even turn a TV on at 4:30 am as there is usually a kid asleep somewhere close by and by golly we don't want to wake them up! Instead of television I resort to reading on my phone or scrolling through Facebook or playing stupid games.
4:30 am is not my friend and I look forward to the day when I can have a room of my own again. Maybe that will help me sleep past 4:30 am. I don't like 4:30 am! Did you get that yet? If you are awake at 4:30 tomorrow morning feel free to text me....I may or may not respond!
Friday, May 31, 2019
Wednesday, May 29, 2019
Hotel Life is for the birds...
I am not ashamed to admit that my mind is a treasure trove of useless trivia about many things related to television shows and television stars. I am also not afraid to admit I grew up a child of the 80's and was a latch key kid who came home after school and headed for the television until dinner time.I couldn't miss the after school special!!! I say all that to say that I frequently read stupid articles about television stars and their lives on Facebook and other online sources. Many times I have read that this star or that one has taken residence in a fancy schmancy hotel or maybe that was more of a thing they did in the 60s and 70s, but anyway you know what I mean. I think now we would call them concierge apartments in the big cities.
Well life in a Jefferson City hotel is a far stretch from New York or Los Angeles. We spent the first few days in a hotel across town from our neighborhood and away from all the things we do. The hotel was adequate at best and at the risk of sounding like a snob it wasn't our typical hotel standard. It just had a weird feel to it and just didn't feel comfortable. Plus our three rooms were scattered across two floors which was so unhandy for the kids who liked to go back and forth frequently. So after four nights there we were able to move to a nicer hotel across town in our neighborhood.
Originally we were scheduled to be moved to a different hotel, but it was hit by the tornado and we had to scramble and get a new reservation somewhere else before the whole town was full. The insurance company got us booked into the new Holiday Inn and Suites and it is a lovely hotel and has only been open a few short months. A great indoor pool and work out facility. There is a restaurant on site if we get hungry.
While we are blessed to be in a safe, clean and comfortable place for the time being, hotel life has it's challenges. If you have met my children, you know they are not the quietest of children. They are easily excited and frequently loud. Who am I kidding they are always LOUD, we are just a loud family. I can't help it and we are not even Italian. We are always aware of how loud the kids are and our new favorite word is SSSSSSHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh.... you would think that would be easy to catch on to, but NO, not our kids! They can't even walk down the hall quietly.
Oh and why do these hotel doors have to be so noisy and heavy. So it sounds like they are slamming every time they close. I am deaf and can hear doors closing down the hall with my door closed. So when it is my door or Julie's door it seems to be 100 times louder. Which is frequently especially in the morning hours as we are getting everyone ready to go and out the door by a little after 7 am.
There is no such thing as privacy in a hotel room full of children. Julie has a room and I have a room and the kids go back and forth as they are next to each other. I don't think they make hotels with adjoining rooms anymore....why not for those of us with larger families...that makes no sense to me. Every time I turn around there is a child. There is no where for them to go. No where for me to go, except to hide in the bathroom and all you parents know what that means. They eventually follow you. There are good locks on these bathroom doors.
Elevators are a great novelty for my children. AJ is always running down the hall ahead of trying to get to the elevator and push the call button. He has made the elevators beep and ring and do all kinds of funny noises in the few days we have been here. Let's just hope he doesn't figure out the emergency stop button. For some reason they put us at the opposite of end of hallway from the elevators. It is quite a hike. So we get to the elevator and AJ is the call button pusher. He would make a good elevator attendant...do they still have those anywhere? He loves talking to people in the elevators and he is always seen as charming, darling and so well spoken and thoughtful. Why can't he be that way with his family. I am grateful he is is that way to strangers. Luckily the elevator ride is about 30 seconds or I am sure he would tell everyone he met in the elevator the story of how I said a curse word and yelled fire and told them to evacuate.
Why do hotel beds have to be so fun and set in such a way in the room that they are the perfect distance from one another that the kids think it is a good idea to jump from bed to bed and pretend there is lava on the ground between the beds. Come on out there, how many of you did that at some point in your life? It can be fun!
I do like having fresh towels everyday and fresh sheets every couple of days. Everything is clean and nice. It helps motivate me to keep the room neat and organized which is my natural way anyway. That and the fact we don't have that much anyway. The kids have one plastic tote box of stuff that have been given to them so far. We are specifically telling folks we don't have room for stuff right now just for that reason.
The dresser and closet is nice and I have unpacked completely my one weeks worth of clothing and that of the kids as well. If we are going to be here indefinitely we might as well be comfortable and make ourselves at home.
One downside is we almost have to go to bed when the kids do. And I can't watch tv after they go to bed. I know, I know, poor me but I have cable here and all my favorite channels and I don't get much chance to enjoy them. Hey we have free wifi and that is a great perk.
Another challenge is that we don't have a kitchen and have to do all of our meals outside of the hotel unless we order delivery or carry it in. Which gets expensive and tiring after awhile. Every afternoon we have this discussion of where to go to eat dinner. Thanks to many good friends we have lots of gift certificates which provides us many options, but still it is not the same as being at home and eating the foods we enjoy. It will get old quickly.
Grateful we have a place to rest our weary heads at the end of each day, but the kids have no where to play outside and at home we let them go for hours and they are happy happy happy. Here we have a highway outside of our hotel. No where safe for them to go without our supervision. We miss our home, our yard and our neighborhood! Already longing for the day we can return home.
So if anyone in the Jeff City area knows of any rental properties that we should check into let me know. Hotel life is for birds....and frankly the birds can have it!
Well life in a Jefferson City hotel is a far stretch from New York or Los Angeles. We spent the first few days in a hotel across town from our neighborhood and away from all the things we do. The hotel was adequate at best and at the risk of sounding like a snob it wasn't our typical hotel standard. It just had a weird feel to it and just didn't feel comfortable. Plus our three rooms were scattered across two floors which was so unhandy for the kids who liked to go back and forth frequently. So after four nights there we were able to move to a nicer hotel across town in our neighborhood.
Originally we were scheduled to be moved to a different hotel, but it was hit by the tornado and we had to scramble and get a new reservation somewhere else before the whole town was full. The insurance company got us booked into the new Holiday Inn and Suites and it is a lovely hotel and has only been open a few short months. A great indoor pool and work out facility. There is a restaurant on site if we get hungry.
While we are blessed to be in a safe, clean and comfortable place for the time being, hotel life has it's challenges. If you have met my children, you know they are not the quietest of children. They are easily excited and frequently loud. Who am I kidding they are always LOUD, we are just a loud family. I can't help it and we are not even Italian. We are always aware of how loud the kids are and our new favorite word is SSSSSSHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh.... you would think that would be easy to catch on to, but NO, not our kids! They can't even walk down the hall quietly.
Oh and why do these hotel doors have to be so noisy and heavy. So it sounds like they are slamming every time they close. I am deaf and can hear doors closing down the hall with my door closed. So when it is my door or Julie's door it seems to be 100 times louder. Which is frequently especially in the morning hours as we are getting everyone ready to go and out the door by a little after 7 am.
There is no such thing as privacy in a hotel room full of children. Julie has a room and I have a room and the kids go back and forth as they are next to each other. I don't think they make hotels with adjoining rooms anymore....why not for those of us with larger families...that makes no sense to me. Every time I turn around there is a child. There is no where for them to go. No where for me to go, except to hide in the bathroom and all you parents know what that means. They eventually follow you. There are good locks on these bathroom doors.
Elevators are a great novelty for my children. AJ is always running down the hall ahead of trying to get to the elevator and push the call button. He has made the elevators beep and ring and do all kinds of funny noises in the few days we have been here. Let's just hope he doesn't figure out the emergency stop button. For some reason they put us at the opposite of end of hallway from the elevators. It is quite a hike. So we get to the elevator and AJ is the call button pusher. He would make a good elevator attendant...do they still have those anywhere? He loves talking to people in the elevators and he is always seen as charming, darling and so well spoken and thoughtful. Why can't he be that way with his family. I am grateful he is is that way to strangers. Luckily the elevator ride is about 30 seconds or I am sure he would tell everyone he met in the elevator the story of how I said a curse word and yelled fire and told them to evacuate.
Why do hotel beds have to be so fun and set in such a way in the room that they are the perfect distance from one another that the kids think it is a good idea to jump from bed to bed and pretend there is lava on the ground between the beds. Come on out there, how many of you did that at some point in your life? It can be fun!
I do like having fresh towels everyday and fresh sheets every couple of days. Everything is clean and nice. It helps motivate me to keep the room neat and organized which is my natural way anyway. That and the fact we don't have that much anyway. The kids have one plastic tote box of stuff that have been given to them so far. We are specifically telling folks we don't have room for stuff right now just for that reason.
The dresser and closet is nice and I have unpacked completely my one weeks worth of clothing and that of the kids as well. If we are going to be here indefinitely we might as well be comfortable and make ourselves at home.
One downside is we almost have to go to bed when the kids do. And I can't watch tv after they go to bed. I know, I know, poor me but I have cable here and all my favorite channels and I don't get much chance to enjoy them. Hey we have free wifi and that is a great perk.
Another challenge is that we don't have a kitchen and have to do all of our meals outside of the hotel unless we order delivery or carry it in. Which gets expensive and tiring after awhile. Every afternoon we have this discussion of where to go to eat dinner. Thanks to many good friends we have lots of gift certificates which provides us many options, but still it is not the same as being at home and eating the foods we enjoy. It will get old quickly.
Grateful we have a place to rest our weary heads at the end of each day, but the kids have no where to play outside and at home we let them go for hours and they are happy happy happy. Here we have a highway outside of our hotel. No where safe for them to go without our supervision. We miss our home, our yard and our neighborhood! Already longing for the day we can return home.
So if anyone in the Jeff City area knows of any rental properties that we should check into let me know. Hotel life is for birds....and frankly the birds can have it!
Tuesday, May 28, 2019
Can you remember...
Since The Burning my mind and emotions have been taxed on many levels....one of the things I have become most aware is knowing what is in my surroundings.
When I yelled that curse word and told the kids to evacuate I only had what was in my hands at the time as I was leaving the house. I dashed into the kitchen and grabbed my phone and keys which just happened to be sitting within reach - which is amazing since I have a tendency to misplace my keys. The basket with the kids daily medicines was also there and I grabbed those but that was it. Grateful that I remembered to snatch those few things, I thought later about all the things I should have snatched!
The next morning it really hit home when Julie went to take Alexis to school. As they were walking out the door and Julie reminded Alexis to get her shoes on and Alexis timidly replies, "Mommy I didn't have any shoes on when we evacuated the house!" Wow how did neither one of us notice that in the midst of all that was going on the night before. So on the way to school at 7:30 am on the way to school the morning after the fire Julie and Alexis went shoe shopping at Walmart.
Now mind you, I was at Walmart before them that morning about 1 am looking for clothes for me to wear. I had absolutely nothing to wear after the fire. Julie and the kids had some laundry at her mom's that they were able to utilize, but alas I had nothing to wear. So I had to go get some basics to get through the next day or two and I was so awake and wired I figured I might as well go to Walmart at 12:30 am. You learn a lot about people when at Walmart at 1 am. I will write about my middle of the night experience at Walmart in a future blog.
Both of the girls happened to have their favorite doll or stuffed animal in their hands when the fire broke out, which is kind of unusual for 5:45 in the evening. So that is something I am grateful for. AJ is not specifically attached to items so he was not overly affected, but he is more attached to his surroundings and routines. Which is a bit difficult to manage in hotel living. More on that in a future blog as well.
Back to the original point of this entry. Do me a favor:
CLOSE YOUR EYES
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
no really do it
THEN WITH OUT OPENING YOUR EYES NAME 10 THINGS THAT ARE IN THE ROOM AROUND YOU.
Can you do it? Was it easier or harder than you thought? Now look around and note the things you missed and consider what would you do if all the things you did not mention in your list of 10 items was gone when you opened your eyes? Do those 10 things make sense to remember now that you don't have it all together with the things you didn't remember. Then with the 10 things that you mentioned how many of those things require electricity? Oh but wait your electricity does not work any more, so how many things of those 10 items are no longer useful. How many items do you have left? One, two or three?
This is the exercise that my family has gone through in the recent days. Learning to live without! It is a humbling and challenging experience. It has been especially useful for my children, who in this culture are so materially driven, and I think we are more on the conservative end of a lot of folks when it comes to what we allow our kids to have and keep and frankly it is still way too much.
Walmart and Walgreens and Target have been clocking our frequent flyer miles as the first few days we were remembering this or that thing was needed. Whether it be an item of clothing, a toiletry item, a pair of finger nail clippers, a blanket for your child to take to school for movie time, a brush to brush their hair, shampoo that does not come out of a little bottle in the hotel. So many little things we take for granted each day in our lives. We had to have some basic swim toys for the pool this past Saturday - you know you cannot go swimming without your goggles! LOL
Many of you know I am a clothes horse! I have always been a clothes hog and like my clothes and enjoy shopping and fashion and etc. What can I say it is who I am. You know the FANTABULOUS BROCK is always styling - or at least I like to tell myself that. Since the divorce I have cut my wardrobe by at least half. I was finally able a couple of weeks ago able to get all my hanging clothes into one smaller than average closet. In the past I would have two or three closets full of stuff. Now all my clothes fit in one drawer of my hotel room. And that is enough clothes for a week! Isn't that enough? Shouldn't it be enough? If someone told you today that you had to fit all your clothes in an average sized suitcase and that was all you were allowed to have for the next year, how would that affect you? Could you do it? Would it be hard or easy?
I am a very organized person, ask my former wife or my boss and they will tell you I am the organization king. That being said it has been easy for me to put my fingers on important papers and documents that I needed to salvage after The Burning. A few months ago, Julie's best friend was able to help Julie do the same thing and she too has been able to find her necessary papers. Do you know where your birth certificates are, your passports, wills, divorce decrees, marriage licenses and etc. If I walked into your home right now and asked for these things could you put your hands on them in 5 minutes or less? Or would you have to think about which pile they might be downstairs by the tv or in your den next to the file cabinet you never use? Maybe the bottom drawer of your night stand by your bed. Oh right, you were gonna get to that? But guess what you never did and now you are up the proverbial creek.
These words are not to scare you but rather challenge you to think ahead and be prepared. I never thought this would happen to me. I never thought I that my organization skills would come in handy like they have in the past week.
Finally my sage words of wisdom for today is think about what is necessary. Think about what is needed? Think about what is holding you down? Do you really need everything in the room around you? Do you really need 14 plastic water bottles from various places in your cabinet that half the lids are warped or lost? These are things I think about now. I challenge you to think about the same!!
When I yelled that curse word and told the kids to evacuate I only had what was in my hands at the time as I was leaving the house. I dashed into the kitchen and grabbed my phone and keys which just happened to be sitting within reach - which is amazing since I have a tendency to misplace my keys. The basket with the kids daily medicines was also there and I grabbed those but that was it. Grateful that I remembered to snatch those few things, I thought later about all the things I should have snatched!
The next morning it really hit home when Julie went to take Alexis to school. As they were walking out the door and Julie reminded Alexis to get her shoes on and Alexis timidly replies, "Mommy I didn't have any shoes on when we evacuated the house!" Wow how did neither one of us notice that in the midst of all that was going on the night before. So on the way to school at 7:30 am on the way to school the morning after the fire Julie and Alexis went shoe shopping at Walmart.
Now mind you, I was at Walmart before them that morning about 1 am looking for clothes for me to wear. I had absolutely nothing to wear after the fire. Julie and the kids had some laundry at her mom's that they were able to utilize, but alas I had nothing to wear. So I had to go get some basics to get through the next day or two and I was so awake and wired I figured I might as well go to Walmart at 12:30 am. You learn a lot about people when at Walmart at 1 am. I will write about my middle of the night experience at Walmart in a future blog.
Both of the girls happened to have their favorite doll or stuffed animal in their hands when the fire broke out, which is kind of unusual for 5:45 in the evening. So that is something I am grateful for. AJ is not specifically attached to items so he was not overly affected, but he is more attached to his surroundings and routines. Which is a bit difficult to manage in hotel living. More on that in a future blog as well.
Back to the original point of this entry. Do me a favor:
CLOSE YOUR EYES
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
no really do it
THEN WITH OUT OPENING YOUR EYES NAME 10 THINGS THAT ARE IN THE ROOM AROUND YOU.
Can you do it? Was it easier or harder than you thought? Now look around and note the things you missed and consider what would you do if all the things you did not mention in your list of 10 items was gone when you opened your eyes? Do those 10 things make sense to remember now that you don't have it all together with the things you didn't remember. Then with the 10 things that you mentioned how many of those things require electricity? Oh but wait your electricity does not work any more, so how many things of those 10 items are no longer useful. How many items do you have left? One, two or three?
This is the exercise that my family has gone through in the recent days. Learning to live without! It is a humbling and challenging experience. It has been especially useful for my children, who in this culture are so materially driven, and I think we are more on the conservative end of a lot of folks when it comes to what we allow our kids to have and keep and frankly it is still way too much.
Walmart and Walgreens and Target have been clocking our frequent flyer miles as the first few days we were remembering this or that thing was needed. Whether it be an item of clothing, a toiletry item, a pair of finger nail clippers, a blanket for your child to take to school for movie time, a brush to brush their hair, shampoo that does not come out of a little bottle in the hotel. So many little things we take for granted each day in our lives. We had to have some basic swim toys for the pool this past Saturday - you know you cannot go swimming without your goggles! LOL
Many of you know I am a clothes horse! I have always been a clothes hog and like my clothes and enjoy shopping and fashion and etc. What can I say it is who I am. You know the FANTABULOUS BROCK is always styling - or at least I like to tell myself that. Since the divorce I have cut my wardrobe by at least half. I was finally able a couple of weeks ago able to get all my hanging clothes into one smaller than average closet. In the past I would have two or three closets full of stuff. Now all my clothes fit in one drawer of my hotel room. And that is enough clothes for a week! Isn't that enough? Shouldn't it be enough? If someone told you today that you had to fit all your clothes in an average sized suitcase and that was all you were allowed to have for the next year, how would that affect you? Could you do it? Would it be hard or easy?
I am a very organized person, ask my former wife or my boss and they will tell you I am the organization king. That being said it has been easy for me to put my fingers on important papers and documents that I needed to salvage after The Burning. A few months ago, Julie's best friend was able to help Julie do the same thing and she too has been able to find her necessary papers. Do you know where your birth certificates are, your passports, wills, divorce decrees, marriage licenses and etc. If I walked into your home right now and asked for these things could you put your hands on them in 5 minutes or less? Or would you have to think about which pile they might be downstairs by the tv or in your den next to the file cabinet you never use? Maybe the bottom drawer of your night stand by your bed. Oh right, you were gonna get to that? But guess what you never did and now you are up the proverbial creek.
These words are not to scare you but rather challenge you to think ahead and be prepared. I never thought this would happen to me. I never thought I that my organization skills would come in handy like they have in the past week.
Finally my sage words of wisdom for today is think about what is necessary. Think about what is needed? Think about what is holding you down? Do you really need everything in the room around you? Do you really need 14 plastic water bottles from various places in your cabinet that half the lids are warped or lost? These are things I think about now. I challenge you to think about the same!!
Monday, May 27, 2019
The Burning
I had not realized how long it has been since I have posted a blog entry until I logged in this morning. I guess life changing events is what challenges me to write and share. Well alas another major life changing event has occurred.
May 20th (just 7 days ago) I awoke to another normal day in the life. Work, school, counting the days until the pool opens and juggling three active kids at home and tracking 2 older kids out there somewhere. So really a regular day. Early that evening I was in the upstairs cooking dinner for the kiddos when I noticed a smell. I just thought something had spilled in the oven or on the stove top and didn't think much about it at first. The smell persisted and I had a thought as I walked over to the basement door and opened it. Poof a huge ball of rolling black smoke immediately enveloped me. I can still vividly see it coming towards me like a locomotive.
According to my kids the first words out of my mouth were. "Oh shit, fire, everyone out!" AJ still yells at me when he retells that story to others and scolds me for cursing. I remind him that there is a time and place for everything. The kids looked at me with a strange look of confusion in their eyes and actually left the house as directed. Alexis was able to grab Duncan our beloved. Scottish Terrier. We all quickly regrouped in the driveway as I called 911. While talking to the emergency operator I glance up and notice AJ at the front door trying to go in as the dark smoke billowed out. I ran and caught him as he crossed the threshold and dragged him back. He was yelling he had to save the family cat, "Lovey." I quickly explained that it is too dangerous to go back in and that the firemen would save him once they got here. I placed the kids and dog in my car still in the driveway and backed the car further away from the house. I called Julie who was at her mother's house just a couple of miles away and told her to get home the house was on fire. About this time I could hear the sirens in the distance as the dark smoke seemed to emanate from every window,door and crack in the shell of our home. It even seemed to be escaping through the shingles of the roof. Neighbors peaking through their curtains and standing on their porches. One neighbor asked if help had been called. Standing next to the car trying to keep my crying children calm the big red trucks started arriving. First one, then two and three, four and five and an ambulance. he firemen went into action quickly. They lifted the ladder and unrolled the hoses and connected to a fire hydrant a few houses down. The kids started yelling at the firemen to save their cat but no one could hear them. It took me a couple of moments to get someone's attention to tell them about the cat. I already knew in my heart the cat was probably not going to make it, but kept encouraging the kids to have faith she would be alright. What else was I going to tell them at this point? When the fire erupted the cat ran in fear to one of her many hiding spots further back in the house so I knew I would take a lot time for her to be found. The question being found dead or alive.
It was less than 10 minutes before Julie arrived. The street had been blocked on both ends so she had to walk a bit to get to the house which was still a smoky inferno. I quickly updated her as she took in the site of her home in the process of being devastated. It was an emotional rush for her and quickly she became overcome by emotion, especially when her mom arrived and she ran to her for comfort. I quickly ushered the kids out of the car to their grandmas car further from the house. I knew they didn't need to see anymore than they already had. Grandma Louise quickly escorted the kids away from the house and took them to her home.
The next couple of hours were a blur as several official fire administration officials arrived. Many wonderful friends came to be with us as we waited for more news from the fire department as they contained the fire and started investigating. After about an hour they informed us the cat had not survived as she took in too much smoke. Immediately I dreaded the conversation that would need to be had with the kids before the night was over. One of the fire officials came and started asking us questions as to what happened and about various issues and details of the house and how it was set up and who lived there and where their respective bedrooms were and so forth. As Julie and I talked we started wondering and how it all started. Initially we thought it had to do with the equipment that was left in the basement from a restoration company who was cleaning up a flood in the basement earlier that day. In fact, they had left the house about 30 minutes prior to when I noticed the fire. In time we were in fact told a different cause altogether.
The fire originated in the bedroom of our oldest son and was deemed an accidental electric fire. Let me just say this. NO MORE EXTENSION CORDS! Between overloading a power strip and using old substandard extension cords which created a formula for disaster. Our oldest son had just returned from his year away at college two days prior. Needless to say he lost everything he owned. His clothes, shoes, hats, computers, gaming systems, games and much much more was packed in that room. It immediately shook him up and he went into fight or flight mode. After he spoke to the fire officials at the scene we didn't actually see him for nearly 48 hours and rarely heard from him. It was with much prayer and reassurance to him that finally gave him the freedom and safety to return to the family. He is doing much better now and is at the hotel with us and looking forward to what comes next in his life.
We were able to take a quick tour of the house after the fire was extinguished and it was deemed safe. To say it was shocking is an understatement. The amount of smoke damage throughout the entire home was overwhelming. The lower level where our oldest son and oldest daughter and I all had our bedrooms and other living spaces was a black dark hole. Furnishings melted, glass on the floor, water soaked picture frames on the wall, blackened out faces on those same pictures. Going into the room where it all started was like a burnt out black hole. Things were melted and broken and purely disintegrated. Once we left the house and the fire department turned it back over to us we locked the doors and walked away still somewhat in shock.
The first night we stayed at Julie's mom's house so we could all be together for the sake of the kids. The two younger children were devastated when they heard the news about the cat. It took us a long time to console them and get them quieted again. Luckily Julie had taken some laundry to her mom's house and each of the kids had some clothes there they could wear, including pajamas. No one slept well that night. Kids were restless, jumping from bed to bed to find comfort and morning came all too early. We got up with the plan to keep kids on their schedules and getting them all to school in a timely manner and that mission was accomplished. We know that our children thrive on consistency and routine so with only 2 days of school left we marched on.
It was really a blessing the kids were in school as it gave us two days to deal with all the insurance issues, phone calls, and tons of decisions that needed to be made. Had the kids been around that would have been much harder than it was. So we were thankful for that.
Frankly from the beginning of it all I specifically chose GRATITUDE. Grateful that we were all alive. Grateful that it was not worst. Grateful that it did not affect any neighbors. Grateful for the fire department personnel and first responders who were on the scene. Grateful for the funny Red Cross volunteer who came with care packages and hotel and food vouchers so we could begin the process of rebuilding. Grateful that the kids were not more emotionally/spiritually impacted than they were by the fire. Grateful that Julie has good home owners insurance and that I had good renters insurance. So many things came to mind in the first day or two of things to be grateful for as we went through the process.
Sitting here and reflecting back on the night of the fire and how I stood there watching the burning it was almost surreal. Was that really me? Did my kids and I just evacuate our home that was on fire? Really???? I remember as a kid the television show The Waltons and the episode where the family home was burned. That episode left a mark in my mind and I never forgot it. Now here I am 50 years old having watched my home burn just as the Walton's did all those years ago. I don't remember feeling fear as the home was engulfed in smoke, rather I just wanted my kids to be safe. Yet something else in which to be grateful.
A week later now and I am amazed at the amount of love and support we have received from people some being family and close friends and other being people we haven't seen in decades and in some cases do not even know. Grateful that they were there to help us along the way. Being purely honest, I also realized who were true friends.
The Burning as I will forever call May 20, 2019 is an opportunity to start fresh. A chance to rethink the choices I have made in the past regarding materialism and giving to others. A way to rethink and live the next 50 years better than I have the first 50 years. The Burning will teach me many things in the days, weeks, months ahead as we restore and rebuild a place The Ballard Bunch calls home!
P.S. Stay tuned for additional blog entries as I share the journey that started from The Burning!
May 20th (just 7 days ago) I awoke to another normal day in the life. Work, school, counting the days until the pool opens and juggling three active kids at home and tracking 2 older kids out there somewhere. So really a regular day. Early that evening I was in the upstairs cooking dinner for the kiddos when I noticed a smell. I just thought something had spilled in the oven or on the stove top and didn't think much about it at first. The smell persisted and I had a thought as I walked over to the basement door and opened it. Poof a huge ball of rolling black smoke immediately enveloped me. I can still vividly see it coming towards me like a locomotive.
According to my kids the first words out of my mouth were. "Oh shit, fire, everyone out!" AJ still yells at me when he retells that story to others and scolds me for cursing. I remind him that there is a time and place for everything. The kids looked at me with a strange look of confusion in their eyes and actually left the house as directed. Alexis was able to grab Duncan our beloved. Scottish Terrier. We all quickly regrouped in the driveway as I called 911. While talking to the emergency operator I glance up and notice AJ at the front door trying to go in as the dark smoke billowed out. I ran and caught him as he crossed the threshold and dragged him back. He was yelling he had to save the family cat, "Lovey." I quickly explained that it is too dangerous to go back in and that the firemen would save him once they got here. I placed the kids and dog in my car still in the driveway and backed the car further away from the house. I called Julie who was at her mother's house just a couple of miles away and told her to get home the house was on fire. About this time I could hear the sirens in the distance as the dark smoke seemed to emanate from every window,door and crack in the shell of our home. It even seemed to be escaping through the shingles of the roof. Neighbors peaking through their curtains and standing on their porches. One neighbor asked if help had been called. Standing next to the car trying to keep my crying children calm the big red trucks started arriving. First one, then two and three, four and five and an ambulance. he firemen went into action quickly. They lifted the ladder and unrolled the hoses and connected to a fire hydrant a few houses down. The kids started yelling at the firemen to save their cat but no one could hear them. It took me a couple of moments to get someone's attention to tell them about the cat. I already knew in my heart the cat was probably not going to make it, but kept encouraging the kids to have faith she would be alright. What else was I going to tell them at this point? When the fire erupted the cat ran in fear to one of her many hiding spots further back in the house so I knew I would take a lot time for her to be found. The question being found dead or alive.
It was less than 10 minutes before Julie arrived. The street had been blocked on both ends so she had to walk a bit to get to the house which was still a smoky inferno. I quickly updated her as she took in the site of her home in the process of being devastated. It was an emotional rush for her and quickly she became overcome by emotion, especially when her mom arrived and she ran to her for comfort. I quickly ushered the kids out of the car to their grandmas car further from the house. I knew they didn't need to see anymore than they already had. Grandma Louise quickly escorted the kids away from the house and took them to her home.
The next couple of hours were a blur as several official fire administration officials arrived. Many wonderful friends came to be with us as we waited for more news from the fire department as they contained the fire and started investigating. After about an hour they informed us the cat had not survived as she took in too much smoke. Immediately I dreaded the conversation that would need to be had with the kids before the night was over. One of the fire officials came and started asking us questions as to what happened and about various issues and details of the house and how it was set up and who lived there and where their respective bedrooms were and so forth. As Julie and I talked we started wondering and how it all started. Initially we thought it had to do with the equipment that was left in the basement from a restoration company who was cleaning up a flood in the basement earlier that day. In fact, they had left the house about 30 minutes prior to when I noticed the fire. In time we were in fact told a different cause altogether.
The fire originated in the bedroom of our oldest son and was deemed an accidental electric fire. Let me just say this. NO MORE EXTENSION CORDS! Between overloading a power strip and using old substandard extension cords which created a formula for disaster. Our oldest son had just returned from his year away at college two days prior. Needless to say he lost everything he owned. His clothes, shoes, hats, computers, gaming systems, games and much much more was packed in that room. It immediately shook him up and he went into fight or flight mode. After he spoke to the fire officials at the scene we didn't actually see him for nearly 48 hours and rarely heard from him. It was with much prayer and reassurance to him that finally gave him the freedom and safety to return to the family. He is doing much better now and is at the hotel with us and looking forward to what comes next in his life.
We were able to take a quick tour of the house after the fire was extinguished and it was deemed safe. To say it was shocking is an understatement. The amount of smoke damage throughout the entire home was overwhelming. The lower level where our oldest son and oldest daughter and I all had our bedrooms and other living spaces was a black dark hole. Furnishings melted, glass on the floor, water soaked picture frames on the wall, blackened out faces on those same pictures. Going into the room where it all started was like a burnt out black hole. Things were melted and broken and purely disintegrated. Once we left the house and the fire department turned it back over to us we locked the doors and walked away still somewhat in shock.
The first night we stayed at Julie's mom's house so we could all be together for the sake of the kids. The two younger children were devastated when they heard the news about the cat. It took us a long time to console them and get them quieted again. Luckily Julie had taken some laundry to her mom's house and each of the kids had some clothes there they could wear, including pajamas. No one slept well that night. Kids were restless, jumping from bed to bed to find comfort and morning came all too early. We got up with the plan to keep kids on their schedules and getting them all to school in a timely manner and that mission was accomplished. We know that our children thrive on consistency and routine so with only 2 days of school left we marched on.
It was really a blessing the kids were in school as it gave us two days to deal with all the insurance issues, phone calls, and tons of decisions that needed to be made. Had the kids been around that would have been much harder than it was. So we were thankful for that.
Frankly from the beginning of it all I specifically chose GRATITUDE. Grateful that we were all alive. Grateful that it was not worst. Grateful that it did not affect any neighbors. Grateful for the fire department personnel and first responders who were on the scene. Grateful for the funny Red Cross volunteer who came with care packages and hotel and food vouchers so we could begin the process of rebuilding. Grateful that the kids were not more emotionally/spiritually impacted than they were by the fire. Grateful that Julie has good home owners insurance and that I had good renters insurance. So many things came to mind in the first day or two of things to be grateful for as we went through the process.
Sitting here and reflecting back on the night of the fire and how I stood there watching the burning it was almost surreal. Was that really me? Did my kids and I just evacuate our home that was on fire? Really???? I remember as a kid the television show The Waltons and the episode where the family home was burned. That episode left a mark in my mind and I never forgot it. Now here I am 50 years old having watched my home burn just as the Walton's did all those years ago. I don't remember feeling fear as the home was engulfed in smoke, rather I just wanted my kids to be safe. Yet something else in which to be grateful.
A week later now and I am amazed at the amount of love and support we have received from people some being family and close friends and other being people we haven't seen in decades and in some cases do not even know. Grateful that they were there to help us along the way. Being purely honest, I also realized who were true friends.
The Burning as I will forever call May 20, 2019 is an opportunity to start fresh. A chance to rethink the choices I have made in the past regarding materialism and giving to others. A way to rethink and live the next 50 years better than I have the first 50 years. The Burning will teach me many things in the days, weeks, months ahead as we restore and rebuild a place The Ballard Bunch calls home!
P.S. Stay tuned for additional blog entries as I share the journey that started from The Burning!
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