Since The Burning my mind and emotions have been taxed on many levels....one of the things I have become most aware is knowing what is in my surroundings.
When I yelled that curse word and told the kids to evacuate I only had what was in my hands at the time as I was leaving the house. I dashed into the kitchen and grabbed my phone and keys which just happened to be sitting within reach - which is amazing since I have a tendency to misplace my keys. The basket with the kids daily medicines was also there and I grabbed those but that was it. Grateful that I remembered to snatch those few things, I thought later about all the things I should have snatched!
The next morning it really hit home when Julie went to take Alexis to school. As they were walking out the door and Julie reminded Alexis to get her shoes on and Alexis timidly replies, "Mommy I didn't have any shoes on when we evacuated the house!" Wow how did neither one of us notice that in the midst of all that was going on the night before. So on the way to school at 7:30 am on the way to school the morning after the fire Julie and Alexis went shoe shopping at Walmart.
Now mind you, I was at Walmart before them that morning about 1 am looking for clothes for me to wear. I had absolutely nothing to wear after the fire. Julie and the kids had some laundry at her mom's that they were able to utilize, but alas I had nothing to wear. So I had to go get some basics to get through the next day or two and I was so awake and wired I figured I might as well go to Walmart at 12:30 am. You learn a lot about people when at Walmart at 1 am. I will write about my middle of the night experience at Walmart in a future blog.
Both of the girls happened to have their favorite doll or stuffed animal in their hands when the fire broke out, which is kind of unusual for 5:45 in the evening. So that is something I am grateful for. AJ is not specifically attached to items so he was not overly affected, but he is more attached to his surroundings and routines. Which is a bit difficult to manage in hotel living. More on that in a future blog as well.
Back to the original point of this entry. Do me a favor:
CLOSE YOUR EYES
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
no really do it
THEN WITH OUT OPENING YOUR EYES NAME 10 THINGS THAT ARE IN THE ROOM AROUND YOU.
Can you do it? Was it easier or harder than you thought? Now look around and note the things you missed and consider what would you do if all the things you did not mention in your list of 10 items was gone when you opened your eyes? Do those 10 things make sense to remember now that you don't have it all together with the things you didn't remember. Then with the 10 things that you mentioned how many of those things require electricity? Oh but wait your electricity does not work any more, so how many things of those 10 items are no longer useful. How many items do you have left? One, two or three?
This is the exercise that my family has gone through in the recent days. Learning to live without! It is a humbling and challenging experience. It has been especially useful for my children, who in this culture are so materially driven, and I think we are more on the conservative end of a lot of folks when it comes to what we allow our kids to have and keep and frankly it is still way too much.
Walmart and Walgreens and Target have been clocking our frequent flyer miles as the first few days we were remembering this or that thing was needed. Whether it be an item of clothing, a toiletry item, a pair of finger nail clippers, a blanket for your child to take to school for movie time, a brush to brush their hair, shampoo that does not come out of a little bottle in the hotel. So many little things we take for granted each day in our lives. We had to have some basic swim toys for the pool this past Saturday - you know you cannot go swimming without your goggles! LOL
Many of you know I am a clothes horse! I have always been a clothes hog and like my clothes and enjoy shopping and fashion and etc. What can I say it is who I am. You know the FANTABULOUS BROCK is always styling - or at least I like to tell myself that. Since the divorce I have cut my wardrobe by at least half. I was finally able a couple of weeks ago able to get all my hanging clothes into one smaller than average closet. In the past I would have two or three closets full of stuff. Now all my clothes fit in one drawer of my hotel room. And that is enough clothes for a week! Isn't that enough? Shouldn't it be enough? If someone told you today that you had to fit all your clothes in an average sized suitcase and that was all you were allowed to have for the next year, how would that affect you? Could you do it? Would it be hard or easy?
I am a very organized person, ask my former wife or my boss and they will tell you I am the organization king. That being said it has been easy for me to put my fingers on important papers and documents that I needed to salvage after The Burning. A few months ago, Julie's best friend was able to help Julie do the same thing and she too has been able to find her necessary papers. Do you know where your birth certificates are, your passports, wills, divorce decrees, marriage licenses and etc. If I walked into your home right now and asked for these things could you put your hands on them in 5 minutes or less? Or would you have to think about which pile they might be downstairs by the tv or in your den next to the file cabinet you never use? Maybe the bottom drawer of your night stand by your bed. Oh right, you were gonna get to that? But guess what you never did and now you are up the proverbial creek.
These words are not to scare you but rather challenge you to think ahead and be prepared. I never thought this would happen to me. I never thought I that my organization skills would come in handy like they have in the past week.
Finally my sage words of wisdom for today is think about what is necessary. Think about what is needed? Think about what is holding you down? Do you really need everything in the room around you? Do you really need 14 plastic water bottles from various places in your cabinet that half the lids are warped or lost? These are things I think about now. I challenge you to think about the same!!
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