366 Days

It was 366 days ago that the world as I knew it changed in a way I had never expected. It was May 20, 2019 the day of The Great Burning which greatly effected the Ballard/Wilson family. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect when I woke up that day we would be homeless by bedtime. Yes it was the fire that over took our house from basement to main level. The journey we have traveled on since is not a journey for the faint at heart. I thought hard about writing yesterday about this momentous event, but I decided I couldn't do it yesterday. I needed one more day to just be with it. Funny thing not a single one of the Ballard Wilson clan he spoke of it to one another. It was more like a day of remembrance rather than a day to remember.

So today I will take a moment and remember! But rather than recall the events of that day I will talk about some things I have learned in the past year

1) Never take anything for granted! I woke up that day expecting it to be any other day. It was the last Monday of the school year as the kids were wrapping things up for the school year and preparing for summer fun. It was a pretty normal Monday evening when the fire broke out as I was making dinner when it was discovered. I had mac and cheese on the stove and I have no recollection of turning the stove off before evacuating but I did. All the kids and the dog happened to be within 10 feet of me when I discovered the fire and we were able to evacuate the house within 30 seconds. The cat was even there but she ran during the evacuation to the back of the house and she did not survive the smoke. That is our greatest regret of the fire! I don't take those things for granted anymore. Mac and cheese and knowing where my kids were and for the fact it was not raining while we watched the fire department save what they could of our house!

2) Give thanks for what you do have! I remember that day and I realized about 9:30 that evening once we got the kids settled at Grandma's house that I had no clothes to speak of except what was on my back. I was wearing only a pair of short, t shirt, under clothes and flip flops. Had the fire happened in the night I would likely have been a lot less clothed. So I am thankful for that as are all the neighbors and first responders. LOL  Amazingly the kids and Julie all had clothing at Grandma Louise's as she was helping Julie get caught up with laundry that week. Turns out only Courtney and I were the only one's left with whole new wardrobes to obtain. I give thanks for that - as it has been fun buying all new clothes over the past year!

3) Timing is everything and I do not believe there are any accidents. It is after these cataclysmic events and the dust settles a bit that you start to ponder the "what ifs", What if it would have happened later at night and we had all been asleep? What if one of the kids had been downstairs when the fire broke out, could I have gotten them out safely? What if we had lost the entire structure of the home not just the inside? What if? What if? What if? While I do not believe God caused the fire to happen, I do believe He managed the timing of various events and circumstances after the fire. Such as the arrival of the Red Cross workers. Such as forcing us to go to a hotel on the extreme other side of town only to have a tornado come through town two days after the fire that did major damage to the hotel we really wanted to stay. God protected us from living through another major event in the same week. I am confident that God protected us from that.

4) Home really is where the heart is! Yes our home was destroyed Yes we were displaced but we were never without home. This is a message we kept reinforcing to the kids! As long as we are together and alive and well we are home! Between two hotels and a rental apartment and a rental house we manage to maintain HOME! The kids kept wanting to go home because the missed the creature comforts such as more than one bathroom, having their own rooms, and etc. We used this time to remind them what is really important. Love, family and faith.

5) Pride is not a pretty look. We were overwhelmed by scores of people offering their help and assistance in anyway. For the first several weeks we received help and assistance in numerous ways from numerous people We were amazed at those who reached out a hand to help and disappointed in those who did not. Just being honest. There were people in our lives who chose not to help and that is fine, as we all have our own battles. We learned that when you ask for help you have to be specific and we learned that when you are specific you may not get the help you truly seek. Yet through it all we never turned down the help we were offered even if it did not always make sense. We had to learn to accept things even when we didn't think we needed them! Turns out we needed and used it all! There was one friend who used the opportunity to teach her kids about giving and they made special arts and crafts boxes for each of the 3 youngest kids including snacks. The kids thought those were amazing and a year later still remember. Thanks Emily!

4) Hope for the best and plan for the worst. We were of course very eager through the clean up and restoration process for the professionals to get in there and get it done. Unfortunately as a result of the famous Jefferson City tornado two days after the fire that really put the restoration resources of our community into overdrive. Given all the devastation that had happened in our community we could not yell and stomp our feet for professional helping others in need, though I admit there were times I wanted to. As a result that meant various components of the clean out and renovation were delayed for what seemed like forever. It took over 3 months for our house to be cleaned out and prepped for the renovation. Needless to say our hopes were dashed time and time again for this phase or that phase to completed. By the time it was all said and done (nearly 9 months) we stopped expecting things to be done when they were supposed to done. As a result I now hope for the best and plan for the worst. Then we occasionally get surprised.

5) Stuff is just stuff! There were very few things that could not be replaced as a result of the fire. It was a hard lesson for the kids to learn and maybe even the adults a bit as well. Yet quickly we all realized stuff is stuff. The only things we couldn't replace was Lovey, the kid's cat. Toys, books stuffies, furniture, clothing, mementos and etc are just things. Items we cannot take with us when we leave this life. Our youngest daughter probably had the hardest time accepting the fact that her large stuffy collection (more than 100) could not be saved. We attempted to save several but the smoke damage was too severe and could not be remedied. Let me assure you she is well on her way to replacing that collection once again, thanks to her grandparents. We also realized during the inventory process that we had too much JUNK anyway. Every pin, paperclip, hangar, bar of soap, roll of toilet paper and every other minute item big and small was cataloged and inventoried. The items that were melted and destroyed we had to estimate brand, value and quantity. If I ever have a fire again (GOD FORBID) I am gonna let it all burn to the ground so I don't have to go through the inventory process again. Between all of there were over 200 pages of itemized items that were lost in the fire. Sad thing is that we are pretty sure many things were missed at that.

Now that we all are safe and sound in our newly renovated home life is good! We moved back in to the house late February and early March. Settling in and getting all the new furniture and decor in place has been fun. Letting the kids be a part of decorating their rooms has been fun and seeing their individual personalities shine through. AJ has a super hero room. Alexis has a nature room. Lyric has a pink Hollywood Regency inspired room. I have simplified my design style as well. Much less crap and simpler wall decor and a commitment to staying away from flea markets, vintage stores and Home Goods!

So all in all the past 366 days have been eventful, long, life altering and a return to the simpler things in life. Thanks for to COVID 19 those lessons have been reinforced at the end of this 366 days. We will wait with grateful hearts as we move forward into the next 366 days of life. Let's hope we experience life ahead with a few less cataclysmic events! Please Lord!